I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
