ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I want her autograph on my taint
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This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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