His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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