this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
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Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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