I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
