I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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