A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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