but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
