I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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