dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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