I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
