We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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