I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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