I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
