i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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