She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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