I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
