I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
