you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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