I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
