He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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