Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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