You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
