return my video game
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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