I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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