I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
