Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
