I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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