Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
