All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
