Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize