Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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