id be glad to
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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