drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
