She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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