told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
