just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
