Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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