i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
