i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
