forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
