You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
