Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Im just a social blackout drinker.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
