just come out here and I will go home with you...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
