I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize