I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
