Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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