Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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