idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
