We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
