help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
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this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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