I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
