I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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