Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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