So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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