I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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