I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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