Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
