Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
