I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
