saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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