I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
