you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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