I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo