why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.