I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life