Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
