That's intense
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just high enough for therapy.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
