Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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