Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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